The Curious Hotel

QuoteSomeone put a pic without my consent on an adult site. I don't know who or what site. Where would I start to find them and report it? I am very pissed and will seek legal action.

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QuoteSomeone has taken recordings and videos of me without my permission and put them on the internet and is streaming them. How do I find this information and have it taken down?

Ugh, are you fucking kidding? I hope your privacy has not been violated by a male trying to stalk you. If so, welcome to the club sister. If this prick has put any nude photos of you online then you can make a case out of it. If they are just that candid creeping bullshit then you and I are in the same boat 🙄😡. Please message me how this turns out, if they are indeed intimate photos or videos then go to a magistrates office and get a citizen's obtained warrant for his ass and he's as good as pinched 👍. I hope this helps... 💓👩❤️❤️

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QuoteIf someone takes picture of me without my consent, what should I do?

If you are in a location where there is no expectation of privacy, like a public street or public park, then you should do nothing. They are entirely within their rights to photograph you along with the other street scenery. [The unlikely exception to this is if the photographer is actually stalking you making it a police matter.]
If you are in a location where privacy is expected, e.g., a public restroom or changing room or in your home, then the person is violating the law. You should contact the police.

"Just don't do it." It's the phrase that's been failing us for decades when it comes to sex education in general, and now it's commonly used to shut down conversations about exchanging naked photos, or "nudes." But despite this messaging, nudes continue to be sent and received.

There's nothing inherently wrong with exchanging nudes.

Feeling good about your body, documenting it in a photo, and inviting someone to participate in that by sharing the photo with them is not morally abhorrent. In an ideal world, it would be fun and relationship-affirming.

But that's in an ideal world, and we don't live in that world. Unfortunately, we live in a world where the decision to send nudes has its own set of risks. We live in a world where female, intersex, and transgender bodies are seen as shameful and dirty, and where people will interpret the sending of a naked photo as evidence against your character. It's absurd and it's unfair, but this is still a world where we can be fired from our jobs, ostracized from our communities, and even physically attacked as punishment for the heinous crime of celebrating our bodies. Plus, if you are under the age of 18, both you and the person you're sending them to — regardless of the context in which you sent the photos — can face legal consequences due to sexting-related laws.

What's also unfortunate is that we live in a world where people who we thought we could trust, could end up being totally untrustworthy. At the end of the day, when someone tells you not to send nudes, they are worried that you will trust the wrong person — and that there might be negative consequences of your photo being in someone else's hands, where you don't have control over what they do with it.

Sending nudes is an issue that no generation of young people has ever had to deal with before, because we live in a world now where everyone has a smartphone. So for formerly young people, many of whom are now parents and teachers, it can be daunting to try to talk about it with the currently young people they're trying to raise and educate. After all, you've probably noticed the huge gap in perception that exists, broadly speaking, between people who have grown up owning a smartphone and people who have learned to use the internet as adults. New technologies have always been intimidating to people who don't feel equipped to understand them, so this isn't a new concept. But when you throw rapidly changing ideas about sexuality into the mix, it can make it pretty difficult to find common ground. And right at the intersection where panic about new technology meets anxiety about sexuality, we find the problem of sending nudes.

Many adults choose to exchange nudes with each other, and it doesn't always turn out well. But it's a terrain they can navigate, however clumsily, by considering all the years of experience they've had with sex, romance, and the reality of "slut" shaming. It's harder to make healthy decisions about sending nudes when you haven't had that time to gather information about dating and hooking up in general — when sending nudes is part of the equation right from the start of your sexual life.

To be clear: You should never, ever send a nude to someone simply because you feel pressured to do so. You are the only person who should be in control of what you do with your body. Anyone who truly cares about you and respects you won't make you feel bad or unworthy if you say no to their photo request. If you have any doubts, the safest decision is always to just decline — after all, you can't hit unsend.

And think about it. Porn is everywhere online. If someone really wants to masturbate to (or even just look at) an image of a naked body, they can spend like, two minutes, and find a video of exactly the kind of naked body that turns them on doing exactly the kinds of sexual acts they fantasize about. If you don't send them a photo of your naked body, trust me, they'll be OK.

But what if you've already sent nudes and are worried about what might happen to them now that they're out there? Don't freak out. From one person who has sent nudes in the past (yup!) to another, let me tell you: It's not the end of the world. Whatever happens, even in the worst-case scenario, the only mistake you are responsible for is that you trusted the wrong person. People of all ages, even the adults who tell you "just don't do it," constantly make this same kind of mistake in different contexts. Figuring out who to trust when it comes to friendly, romantic, or professional relationships is something everyone struggles with pretty much all the time, so don't let anyone make you feel inferior just because this time, your misjudgment had to do with nakedness.

This is also something we need to keep in mind when we hear about other people whose nudes are being used against them. Take what they're going through seriously, and stand up for them when others try to blame them. Sharing your naked body with someone else can be a really vulnerable thing, and when that vulnerability is taken advantage of, it's often traumatic. So we need to decide to stop shaming each other for loving the sexual aspects of our bodies and for wanting to share those aspects. When we decide to support each other, we take control away from the people who want to use our nudes to hurt us. We take control of our bodies, and that's something to celebrate.

It is never, ever OK to share someone's naked or partially-naked photos without their permission — ever. Unfortunately, a recent survey found one in every 25 people has been the victim of exactly that. Revenge porn is all too common, but it turns out certain people are more at risk than others for having their personal pictures posted.

According to a survey by the Data & Society Research Institute and the Center for Innovative Public Health Research, LGB people are more at risk for being victims of revenge porn than others.

The survey polled more than 3,000 people ages 15 and up over the phone. From these calls, researchers found 4% of internet users overall have been threatened with or have had their intimate pictures posted online without their consent. Of the LGB people in the survey, though, that number spiked. About 15% of LGB people in the survey reported being threatened with revenge porn, and 7% actually had their pictures posted. This is part of a larger trend, according to the researchers.

Revenge porn is a type of digital abuse in which nude or sexually explicit photos or videos are shared without the consent of those pictured.
Also called nonconsensual pornography, it's closely related to sexual abuse.
A current or previous partner may share such images as "revenge" or threaten to distribute them as a type of blackmail.

You may have sent these private images to a partner.
A partner may have convinced you to take explicit pictures, possibly in an effort to control or shame you. An abusive partner could even take sexual or nude photos of you without your knowledge.

Revenge porn isn't limited to romantic partners, though. A co-worker, family member, or stranger could also gain access to your private images and share them publicly for a variety of reasons.

Is Revenge Porn Illegal?

Forty-six states and the District of Columbia have laws against revenge porn.
Only Wyoming, Mississippi, South Carolina, and Massachusetts lack this kind of law.

There's no federal law against revenge porn.
But in all states, it's illegal to share sexual videos or pictures of anyone under age 18.

The Communications Decency Act of 1996 regulates porn on the internet.
It says websites and internet providers don't have legal responsibility for pictures or videos posted by their users.

That means they're not legally required to take down revenge porn unless it breaks copyright or federal criminal laws.