AUTISM

[petercoach]

I was wondering if anyone here had had experience or knows of people having sex with autistic/ASD spectrum kids (boys and girls) and adults. I have learnt quite a lot about this condition lately and the use of sex as a calmiing, destressing means to help those afflicted with this condition. As I'm sure many of you know this condition has unfortunately been much in the US news lately for all the wrong reasons, due to the bizarre ramblings from POTUS and his so-called "expert" teams.

[Sandra]

[ugga1968]

Huh? I know several that is on the spectrum, and they being asexual are totally ridiculous.

Autism is a spectrum. That means everything from slighly (and often highly educated) to institutionalized.

[petercoach]

I can only speak from personal knowledge from the people I know, one of whom started sex with her brother. She was 20 at the time, her family having lost its mother after an illness and she was left with the very heavy tasks of caring for a distraught father, and her two younger brothers, the eldest being 15 and on the spectrum. She had to suddenly become the surrogate mother for the family, including finding her brother incredibly difficult to deal with as he was easily stressed and anxious. She had read somewhere that sex was sometimes used as a calming means, as he was very definitely in the full throes of teenage puberty, even if somewhat non-vocal and difficult to handle. So she reluctantly tried this with him and saw how this could calm and settle him, albeit for shirt periods.

The downside was that he was always ready for sex and began asking for it several times a day and night. When I was first introduced to her about 8 months ago, it was 5 or 6 times a day and she was at the end of her rope trying to cope with keeping the family together, cater to their needs, run the house, work a pert-time job and attend college. I listened and listened and offered what I could, leading me to recommend that the friend who had introduced us vist her and try to help out, at least on a temporary basis. With her parent's permission and support, the friend visited one wlong weekend and acted as the boy's relief valve. Immediately after, I found a local support group for her and her brother, which she joined and where she was very welcomed. At first theere was a small group of care-givers/parents with very similar situations and where the boy could have sex as much as he could manage. The changes began to improve his condition and my friend was not as stressed in meeting his needs. These small groups expanded to larger meetings.

At these meetings, my friend was able to meet with other people and share stories as well as help out with offering needy boys sex. One thing she learnt very quickly was that these boys have little finesse and most do not understand "preparation" prior to sex, ie what you and I would call foreplay, so it was essential to be ready for sex. By this time, my friend had relaxed enough and was prepared enough to enjoy the urgent needs of her brother and others, when these needs dictate that they have to get to the finishing line as rapidly as possible. Another lesson learnt was that Thank yous and down time are usually rare, most stay erect and need to go again.

During the summer months, she was asked to help out a local day camp for autistic kids, (both sexes, usually about 12-15 boys, 6-8 girls, with 5-6 counselors) where she experienced just how demanding some of these kids could be, but at the same time, how much they needed this unusual therapy and just how grateful and supportive the parents and care-givers were.

Through this volunteer work and having greatly expanded on her experiences, she has decided to take a course related to ASD care, and her story continues. Regardless of your thoughts, your pros and cons towards this type of therapy, my worn-out, over-stressed friend has turned the corner. After two years of considerable anxiety and doubt, she is now happy and the family intact and more loving, once her father was informed of the necessary actions she took to help keep her brother moving forward. He is, by the way, doing far better in school and is enjoying others who she has brought in to help. While there is a whole more to this story, I have learnt through her that there are many, many such stories concerning both boys and girls and adults.

[Nicohere]

I've reported this post to the moderator.

[ugga1968]

I've reported this post to the moderator.

Why?

[Nicohere]

Why?

I've messaged Sandra about it, I was just concerned about the subject matter, but I don't know what the rules are. I just panicked when I first read it. If it's okay here and the mods and everyone are happy that's okay, I just wanted to flag it up.